she smelled like a LAN party
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
