I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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