Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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