I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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