you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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