she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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