i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
