Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
