It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
