Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize