I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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