Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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