Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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