It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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