Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
