Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
