office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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