whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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