Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
