Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
