WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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