thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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