Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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