I'm gonna have a badass scar
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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