The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
