That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she smelled like a LAN party
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
