i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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