Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
