1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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