at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
