she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
