her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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