Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
