highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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