This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do vagina's smell?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
