i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
