hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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