just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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