her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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