my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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