I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
