just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
