I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
