if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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