Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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