I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
