I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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