So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize