So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
