Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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