I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
