i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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