Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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