Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
