make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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