So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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