Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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