garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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