just come out here and I will go home with you...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I love you. Go after that dick
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