so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize