TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
