Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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