I skipped work to stalk him.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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