i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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