I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
