We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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