hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Soap is not a condiment
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
